Ask the Astrologer

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So this concerns my current ex-boyfriend of 3.5 years. His birthday is August 8, 19**. We’ve broken up twice in the past 4 years, but we always end up back together. Although we match up in so many ways, were very different in many as well. I just need to know if the reason we keep coming back is because there is a future for us? Or are we just wasting precious time and opportunities for finding other people that were meant for us?
Birthdate: 2/13/19**

You and your boyfriend were born under opposite signs of the zodiac. These are the signs that are six months away from each other in the calendar year. You were born under Aquarius, which means that you were born in the heart of winter and he was born under Leo, which means that he was born in the heat of summer. This means that you guys will always run hot and cold with each other. These types of relationships are as irresistible as they are impossible. That’s because opposites attract, but just because opposites attract doesn’t mean that they will stay together.

One of the things that we look for in Astrology is common ground. This can be established by a Sun/Moon conjunction between horoscopes, Ruling planet connections, or even something as simple as being born in the same season of the year. These create bonds between zodiac charts so that people can lay down their comfort zones and get close. Opposite sign attractions are pretty much star-crossed because the lovers involved are rarely in sync for very long. Imagine two people sitting opposite each other on a seesaw. When one person is up, the other person is down and vice-versa. This gives the relationship a constant on-again, off-again quality. It can be dramatic in a break-up-only-to-make-up sort of way, but after a while it becomes exhausting.

Using a phrase like “my current ex-boyfriend” is never a good sign because it says that you’re stuck in a loop, which is what I’m talking about. This can also set up some pretty unhealthy relationship patterns if you let it go on for too long. My advice is to kick the habit and move on to someone new. You may be surprised to discover that men don’t have to be such hard work after all.

I was married for 7 years, got divorced in 2009 and since then I have only met men who just don’t want to commit. They are narcissists and egocentric. All I want is to find a nice and funny guy to start a family with. My question: when will my love life turn around for the good and will I ever have children?  -Anika  Birthdate: 1/19/19** 

Every man you’ve met since your divorce is narcissistic and egocentric? Either you stumbled upon Peter Pan’s island of lost boys or there’s a whole lot of projecting going on. The truth is often a mix of the two.Listen. Dating nowadays isn’t easy. And like many people you will have to invest a lot of time separating the wheat from the chaff. That comes with the territory. But what concerns me as an Astrologer is when I hear this kind of anger coming from a Capricorn woman. Capricorn isn’t an easy zodiac sign for a woman to be born under. That’s because it’s so male and stern and fatherly in character. Indeed the more that you take on the mantle of “dad” in a relationship, the more you will attract juvenile types into your orbit. This can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you’re not careful.  I know that you want to find someone right now. Venus is in Capricorn (she entered your sign on Nov. 5) and she’s going to be pushing you to make a love connection. However Saturn is currently in Scorpio and this says to me that you’re dealing with a lot more anger at men than you’re aware of. Saturn in Scorpio says that you need to detox and to purge yourself of all the poisons – only then will you be in a place where you can make friends with men instead of seeing them as the problem.  I know that you want to find a nice, funny guy to settle down with. And that will happen once you get to a nice and funny place in your life, but you’re not there right now. If the men that you are attracting are narcissists and egocentrics then you need to take a long hard look at the signals you are putting out there. The good news is that Venus will be in Capricorn until March 5 because of its retrograde. This gives you plenty of time to rethink your approach and to change your message. Venus believes in playing nice with others. Learn to play nicely with men and they will play nicely back.

All my life I've been a loner.  Acquaintances are few, friends are scarce and after a couple of hours with them... I'm ready to go home.  I like it that way.  Is it because of my Scorpio moon?  3/19/57.

Your Scorpio Moon would certainly explain your desire for the solitary life.  Scorpio is one of the few zodiac signs that really enjoys being by itself—especially if it is surrounded by its favorite things like books or collectibles or whatever passes for a personal treasure.  There is never enough time in the day to contemplate a deep thought, to envision a great masterpiece, or to research a favorite topic.  If people with Scorpio Moons could go off and become hermits, they would do it in a New York minute.

Retreating into yourself is also supported by the heavy presence of water in your horoscope.  The water signs all prize the interior and private experience over the exterior and oftentimes hectic-paced one.  You have your Mercury, planet of the mind, in Pisces along with Venus—the planet of what I like.  You enjoy images, reveries, memories, and dreams.  You also have one of your Ruling Planets, Neptune, in Scorpio along with the north node next to the Moon.  The north node acts like a waxing energy in Astrology—it augments and empowers the planet that it is closest to.  In your case this creates an even stronger Scorpio Moon energy, so that the desire to be at home (you have your Moon in the fourth house of your horoscope and the fourth house is the house of home) becomes even more pronounced.  Your home really is your castle.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you find—like the hermits did of old—that people just can’t leave you alone.  They may come seeking your advice and your counsel.  They may do this in person or they may do it over the Internet.  It’s something that seems to follow solitary types despite their best efforts to escape.  If this is the case (like I suspect it will be this summer) then I would advise that you be a good sport about it.  You exude a kind of wisdom that people trust and want to be around.  Share your knowledge and insights and you could wind up wanting to spend a couple of more hours than usual with this new group of acquaintances.  One or two may even graduate to your inner circle of friends.